Pansy's Revenge
by sexyslytherin27
Summary: COMPLETE! When Draco is caught cheating on Pansy, she will get her revenge. Revenge is sweet, or maybe it can result in love. DMHG.
1. In love with the mudblood

A/N: this is my first fic. I decided to twist things up a bit Just a tester PLEASE REVIEW!

Pansy was walking along the corridors, whistling to herself when all of a sudden, she heard moans coming from a broom closet. As she neared the closet, she heard a girl giggling. In between giggles, she heard the words, "Drakie, stop!" Immediately, she knew that Draco was cheating on her. She opened the closet and yelled at the top of her lungs "**DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY! HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME, WITH A GRYFFINDOR! I PROMISE TO MAKE THE WORST POSSIBLE THING HAPPEN TO YOU" **and with that, she was off.


	2. Valentinus, Veritaserum, and Smiling

To my two reviwers: **Gangsta-elmo69** as you can see, I updated and to **Kortknee**, that chappie was just a teaser to see who would review. The chappies might just stay short, and then gradually get longer. I don't know. I just had a dream about this and said to myself "hey! I might write this"

On with the story

Chapter 2: Valentinus and Veritaserum

Two weeks later, Pansy was still furious about Draco cheating on her, but Draco seemed very happy and content. He even stopped making fun of Harry and crew... at least for a few minutes. There was a confrontation outside the Great Hall

"Hey Pothead, Weasel, Mudb-" but that was all he got out. He carefully looked Hermione up and down. Her hair had tamed itself and waved down her back. Her teeth evened out (thanks to braces) **(AN: I know, her teeth straightened in the 4th book, but this is my story)**and she had a coke bottle figure.

_"I wonder if I can get her into bed then leave her,"_ Draco thought to himself. _"No, bad thoughts, can'tthink about her like that. She is dirty blood." "Who cares! She is the greatest witch of our age and you know it" "Dumb ass concience. Why does it always have to butt in?" "Becuase it's my job. Now shut up. You are giving me a headache"_

"Oh my gosh! The amazing ferret is acctually thinking! Ron, take a picture, you won't ever see him thinking again," Hermione said, giving Draco's famous smirk a run for it's money.

"Granger, Pothead, Weasel, you don't want to be late for Potions. Snape doesn't like you three as much as he likes me," Draco calmly drawled.

"We've only got three minutes to get to the dungeons. **_HURRY_**," Hermione urged as she dragged Harry and Ron along.

In Potions, Professor Snape told the class about their two new assingments.

"All right class. We have two new potions to make this term. One is the brand new Valentinus potion. It causes the drinker to fall in love with the first person he or she sees, but it will only work if the potion is made right. This means that Mr. Longbottom should not use this potion to get a girlfriend, seeing as his potion making skills are atricious." Snape said while glaring at Neville. After six years of insults, Neville was used to them, so he nonchalantly waved them away.

"The nextpotion is the Veritaserum potion, which causes the drinker to tell the truth whenever interrogated. We will test this potion in front of the whole class. Now, here are your partners," Snape drawled.

"But Professor, we don't get to choose our own partners?" Pansy asked in her high pitched voice.

"No Ms. Parkinson. I don't want you drooling over Draco while he makes the potion. Like I was saying: First, our two Heads, Malfoy and Granger. Potter and Zabini, Weasley and Goyle, Longbottom and Crabbe, Finnagan and Parkinson ..."

Hermione didn't bother listening at the other names. She was furious that she had to work with ferret boy.

Pansy, on the other hand, was extremely happy. Phase one of her plan was in affect.

"I love Valentinus and Veritaserum," she thought to herself.

**(AN: I was going to end it here, but i don't want Gangsta-elmo to commit suicide)**

Later that night in the common room, Hermione and Draco were doing their homework. Draco was trying to concentrate, but he couldn't keep his eyes off of her legs. She was wearing short shorts, so it was hard not to.

"Well, I'm going to bed. Night Ferret." Hermione said as she got up and streched. Her tank top streched over her stomach and exposed her belly button ring.

"Oh. I didn't know Granger wore one of those," Draco drawled right beforesmiling.

"You should do that more often," Hermione said

"What?" Draco asked

"Smile"


	3. Feeling the Music

Chapter 3: Feeling the Music

After she actually saw Draco smile, she decided to lighten up a bit. While they were in muggle studies, Professor Raymond **(AN: THAT'S USHER'S LAST NAME**)told them about the dancing project.

"Of course, muggles have a different style of dancing than us, so we are going to study the way muggles dance in America," Professor Raymond drawled with a twinkle in his eye.

"Accio television," Professor Raymond said. Suddenly, there was a SWOOSH and a TV appeared. Professor Raymond turned theTV to MTV and the video forCiara'ssong_ "Goodies_" came on. **(AN: I LOVE THAT SONG**) Alright, let's see who can grind likethey do in clubs. For some stupid reason, the teachers all decided that the two Heads should be partnered up.

At this point, Hermione went crazy and started dancing like a maniac at the middle of the floor.

"OMG! I love this song," she squealed to Draco.

(This is the beginning part, you know, when Ciara says "My Goodies, my goodies, my goodies, not my goodies)

"Stop trying to dance from your mind. Feel the music," Draco explained. ''Besides, you're making me look bad" he said while smirking.

(insert lyrics)

At that point, Hermione was grinding with Draco. She faced him, then went down and back up mouthing the words _'show me what you got, daddy.'_ Draco smirked and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. He turned her around so the she was facing away from him. He held her tighter and more possessively than ever before. Hermione just kept doing what she was doing. Running her hands along his arms as they held her against him. Draco gripped Hermione's waist. Letting her grind against him. Once the music was over, she turned to face him.

"Well, you're not bad. You could do better."

"What do you mean I could do better?" He asked, shocked that she would say something like that. "We were the best ones! Even Professor Raymond thinks so."

Then, Hermione looked over to Professor Raymond. He was clapping his hands and looked proud that those were his students.

"Excellent! Students, **_this_** is what you need to dance like." Professor Raymond said, wiping tears of joy from his eyes.

"Alright, I guess you can talk amongst yourselves until class is over," he said. After he left to his office, the class burst with compliments for Hermione and Draco

"Wow 'Mione! Where did you learn to dance like that?" Hannah Abbot asked.

"Well, I went clubbin' with some cousins that live in America, but besides that, Draco actually helped the most. He told me to feel the music, and I did."

After that, the bell rang. She went to Potions with Draco, still beaming from their accomplishment.


	4. In the Goblet

Chapter 4: In The Goblet

After their little show in Muggle Studies, Hermione was known as "The Girl That Can Dance". Draco was still known as the Slytherin Sex God.

**A FEW WEEKS LATER**

"Alright class, if everything went well, your Valentinus potion should be ready. We will test all of the potions at lunch today. You are only supposed to put your potion in your partner's drink. If all goes well, you will "love" the person for a few hours and then you will go back to the way you were towards each other," Snape said, looking at Hermione and Malfoyduring the last part.

_"Perfect," _Pansy thought. _"Oh, if only they knew that I added a few mo- wait, make that tons more of the Essence of Cupid to make them love each other longer than everyone else"_

She smirked devilishly as the bell rang.

"Malfoy, let's just hurry up. I don't want to love you more than I have to," Hermione said impatiently.

"Well, I don't want to love you either," Draco said with a scowl on his face.

As they were about to drop the potion in their goblets, ...

**AN: I KNOW, EVIL CLIFFIE, BUT I'M NOT WRITING A SINGLE CHAPTER UNTIL I GET AT LEAST 10 REVIEWS, BUT SEEING AS I ONLY HAVE 3 REVIWERS, I'LL MAKE IT 7.**


	5. Amnesia

**omg! i'm so so so sorry y'all! i had algebra and cheer practice and everyting just blended together and i COMPLETELY forgot about you guys! so sorry. plz plz plz forgive me. thanx to all of my reviewers.**

Chapter 5: Amnesia

_Quick Recap: (**AN: meaning basicallythe whole chapter)**_

_"Alright class, if everything went well, your Valentinus potion should be ready. We will test all of the potions at lunch today. You are only supposed to put your potion in your partner's drink. If all goes well, you will "love" the person for a few hours and then you will go back to the way you were towards each other," Snape said, looking at Hermione and Malfoy during the last part."Perfect," Pansy thought. _

_**"Oh, if only they knew that I added a few mo- wait, make that tons more of the Essence of Cupid to make them love each other longer than everyone else**"She smirked devilishly as the bell rang._

_"Malfoy, let's just hurry up. I don't want to love you more than I have to," Hermione said impatiently._

_"Well, I don't want to love you either," Draco said with a scowl on his face._

_As they were about to drop the potion in their goblets, ..._

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Pansy, you stupid bitch! You just made all of my potion spill onto Draco! Now I can't love him!" Hermione complained. 

"Not like it's a bad thing," she thought to herself.

"Now I have to love him with my own free willso I don't get a bad grade," Hermione said as she burst into tears. During her emotional rampage, she did the only logical thing at the time. She reached down and started choking Pansy the muggle way.

"Let-go-of-me-you-ignorant-bitch!" Pansy struggled to say through bated breath.

"Say sorry," Hermione cooed at Pansy like she was a baby.

"Never, mudblood," Pansy said with a smirk on her face, even though it is hard to smirk and get choked.

"As of this summer, I am no longer a mudblood. I am now a member of the Henderson's, second richest wizarding family. Sorry to burst your bubble," Hermione said, smirking.

"What the hell? I am going to be in love with the second richest wizard child? Sweet!" Draco said, obviously just catching on.

"Yes, Malfoy." Hermione said.

Before anyone knew what happened, there was a loud explosion. Everyone in the Great Hall turned to see Hermione unconscious in Draco's arms and Pansy with a triumphant smirk plastered on her face.

"Hello. Who are you? You are really cute. Where am I? Who am I? Who is she? She looks like a pig. Can we eat her? I'm hungry. You are really cute. Let's go upstairs," Hermione said as she came to.

Draco could only say one thing: "Professors, Hermione has amnesia!"

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Will we find out more about Hermione's family? Maybe 

Will she ever get out of her amnesia? Maybe

Does Pansy get suspended for attacking a student? Hopefully, but that would take out half of my title

Will Hermione get suspended for attacking Pansy? Of course not, it wouldn't be a **Hermione**/Draco fic without Hermione

What does Draco think of this? Hmm, you will have to wait and see. :-P

Alright, yall know what to do. You see that button that says GO? Well, what are you doing? CLICK IT! 


	6. The Cartoon and Snowball Effect

AN: To my one and only flamer, (this is what he/she/it/chicken/llama said _ok that totaly made no sense wat so ever and was stupid y would hermione start chokeing pansy then start crieing because pansy spilled her potion then y would hermione suddenly pop w/ this info about her family ? It makes no sense!)_** well, this is my story. i don't see your penname in the author window. stories always need twists and turns, and that was one of them. besides, i only have 6 freakin chapters. not a lot of time for story developement. i won't do the cliched "hermione-is-head-girl-and-draco-is-head-boy-and-they-fall-in-love-and-hermione-ends-up pregannt-and-the-second-war-takes-place-and-voldie-loses" besides, no one else seemed to have a problem with it. and if they did, they were POLITE and kept it to themselves. i can't say the same for you. i mean, hello, golden rule, ever heard of it? newayz, thanks to my other reviwers. on with the story.**

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Chapter 6: The Cartoon and Snowball Effect

Quick Recap:

Before anyone knew what happened, there was a loud explosion. Everyone in the Great Hall turned to see Hermione unconscious in Draco's arms and Pansy with a triumphant smirk plastered on her face.

"Hello. Who are you? You are really cute. Where am I? Who am I? Who is she? She looks like a pig. Can we eat her? I'm hungry. You are really cute. Let's go upstairs," Hermione said as she came to.

Draco could only say one thing: "Professors, Hermione has amnesia!"

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"Mr. Malfoy, can you explain what happened to Miss Granger?" Professor McGonogall asked.

"Well, you see, what happened was," Malfoy started, but was quickly interrupted

"See, Hermione attacked me, Professor. She said a lot of shit -I mean stuff about her now being a Henderson and then I used my wandless magic to get her off of me, but I think I used a little too much force, because she now has amnesia," Pansy said with that shrill thing she calls a voice.

"But she really is a Henderson, I just didn't think that she was ready to tell people yet," Professor McGonagall said.

"Is this true, Mr. Malfoy?" McGonagall asked.

Unfortunalely, Draco's potion already took effect.

"Of course not! Why would my sweetie do a thing like that? She is the most loving person I have ever known. I love her!" Draco said

"Whatever, let's just get her up to the Hospital Wing," the aged professor said while looking at the kids with a confused look on her wrinkled face.

IN THE HOSPITAL WING

"I'm sorry to say this, but her condition is irreversible with magic unless she lets the. . . Never mind, it's too drastic to go through," Madame Pomfery said while trying to supress her laughter.

"What is it? Anything to save my Hermione!" Draco shouted.

"Ok, ok. Don't get your boxers in a bunch," Madame Pamfery said. "It's called the cartoon effect, but it can only work if the person has ever seen cartons. Do you know if she has ever seen cartoons, such as Bugs Bunny?" the Mediwitch asked.

"Well, considering the fact that she was raised as a muggle, I would say so," Draco inferred.

"Hmm, this may cause her some pain ..." Madame Pamfery said

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"PAIN! WHAT DO YOU MEAN PAIN? HERMIONE CAN NOT GO THROUGH ANY PAIN! IF SHE EXPERIENCES PAIN, I EXPERIENCE PAIN! NO, THIS CAN'T HAPPEN" Draco bellowed.

"Will you let me finish? I was _going_ to say that it might cause her pain, but nothing that can't be fixed with a potion," Madame Pomfery said.

"Ok, how does it work?" Draco asked.

"Well, the person with amnesia has to me hit in the head so that she will get her memory back. Do you want her to get some, most, or all of her memory back?" she asked.

"Umm, most. Hopefully she will forget all of the years that I was mean to her," Draco said.

"Ok, batter up!" Madame Pomfery said.

She got a baseball bat out from under Hermione's bed. She stood behind Hermione and. . .

**__**

BAM!

Hermione jerked up from the bed.

"Hey Draco, wanna go back to the dorms? I kinda want to catch up on my studies," Hermione said as if she didn't know what happened in the last half hour. Oh yeah, she didn't.

"Ok, love, let's go," Draco said while helping her from her bed.

"Hey, why am I in the Hospital Wing?" Hermione asked.

"Long story, but I'll tell you later,"Draco said.

Pansy looked on from her spot in the shadows. She smirked as her plan was slowly snowballing into effect.

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**AN 2: alright, i'm kinda in a rut. i have writers block. grrrr! so plz leave me ideas in a review.**


	7. Breaking his heart is ironic

**AN: I'M BACK! MY SQUAD WON LIKE 5 AWARDS AT CAMP AND I WON THE _DANCE DIVA_ AWARD! YAY! NEWAYZ, THIS WILL BE THE FIRST EDITION OF DRAMIONE LEMONS! YAY! ON WITH THE STORY**

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**Chapter 7: Breaking his heart is ironic or After Effect of the Cartoon Effect (wow! that's a long chapter title)**

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**IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN HANDLE READING ABOUT 2 PPL HAVIN SEX, DON'T READ UNTIL I TELL YOU TO**

"Draco, you're gonna have to stop that if you want me to finish my homework," Hermione said, trying to ignore the pleasure running through her limbs.

"But I don't want you to finish your homework," he said with tons of lust in his voice

"Fine, let me go change into something more . . . appealing," Hermione said with the same amount of lust in her voice.

Hermione went to her drawers and looked for something sexy. She ended up picking complicated lacy lingerie including a corset and thigh-high stockings. She looked in her underwear drawer for the crotch-less panties.

"Merlin you look sexy," Draco purred inher ear.

While she was looking at herself in the mirror, he decided to be sneaky and, well, sneak up on her.

He began kissing the right side of her face, down the length of her jaw and neck, and sucking at the place where the neck meets the shoulder. She gave out varied groans and moans of pleasure while grinding her butt into his rock hard member.

They had sex after that, over and over again. At first he teased her. Fingering her as they stood up and then took his fingers out of her, licking off the juices, her core aching for him. Afterwards he turned her around and kissed her hard, his tongue slipping through to Hermione's mouth, where she tasted herself in his mouth. Soon they were battling that same battle for dominance while she wrapped her legs around his middle. Placing his hands under her thighs to secure her up, he carried her to the bed and dumped her there, their lips never parting.

He removed his lips fromher mouth and began to nip and suck his way down her neck to the tops of her full breasts where his hand began to caress her in her most needed area. A knot in her lower stomach was getting greater and greater, the pressure increasing by the millisecond as he did wonders inside of her.

And then...it blew up, her climax sending every nerve ending to tingle, the effect making her scream out his name repeatedly.

"Oh my gosh! Draco, Draco, Draco, I love you! Oh Draco!"

He held her close as she tried to calm her breathing, her loud cries turning into smaller whimpers until she juststopped. He reached up and kissed her hard on her lips again, his fingers running up and down her corset, but she wanted to feel his fingers on her bare skin. Hermione couldn't take it any longer.

"Take it off,"she hissed, but he didn't heed her command and continued to play with her breasts through the silky material. But that small release wasn't enough. Hermione wanted more. She wanted skin to skin contact.She wanted that corset off and she also wanted those fucking stockings off. Wordlessly, as though he heard her thoughts, Draco rolled down her stockings in a painfully slow pace and then rolled down her crotch-less panties as well. Smirking devilishly, Draco moved his hand over the corset in search for clips and ties that would take it off of her. Finally he found a long line of crisscrossing ties and untied it, only to be met by silver clips. By that time, he was pretty aroused again he was beginning to get increasingly impatient as she ran her fingers up and down his back, occasionally pinching his soft backside.

"Fuck," he cried though his teeth. Patience was NOT the best thing in the world when the one you loved was almost naked. At least, it wasn't with Draco. Finally he managed to take the stupid ass thing off of her. Now she could properly look at the one she loved with all her heart. _Wait, why am I saying this? I didn't take that potion._ Then it all came back to her, revealing that her parents were the Henderson's, her and Pansy the stupid bitch getting in a fight, and then, the blow. _Oh well, that was the best sex and I'm not about to give that up just because I remember that I don't really love him._

She threw him off her so that he was laying on his back and she climbed on top of him, playing with him, kissing him and doing all sorts of things that made him moan and squirm like a girl.

"Hermione..." he said, his hands finding their way up into her silky but thick hair.

"Oh Draco...I love you. I love you so much,"She told him sincerely. _Who cares if I don't really love him? I need more of him pleasuring me._She lowered her mouth down upon his, her tongue delving into the hot furnice which was his mouth. She wanted him so bad again.She really did and he wanted her too.

"I love you too Hermione," he said and they found themselves in the throes of ecstasy, their bodies making sweet, sweet, love all through the glorious night.

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ALRIGHT, NOW YOU CAN READ IF YOU REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HERMIONE AND DRACO HAVIN SEX. YOU DID NOT MISS ANYTHING EXCEPT THE FACT THAT HERMIONE FINALLY REMEMBERS EVERYTHING ABOUT PANSY AND THE FIGHT

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The next day, it seemed as though all 7th year girls (and Ginny since she was taking Advance Potions) had a new glow about them, as if the best thing ever just happened to them. Hermione wasn't going to tell Draco that she didn't really love him, she was just going to wait for Draco's potion to wear off so she didn't have to break his heart. Ironic, Hermione, breaking his heart.

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**AN: DOES IT SEEM AS THOUGH WHENEVER YOU UPLOAD THIS STUFF, THE WORDS RUN TOGETHER? THIS IS THE 3RD TIME I UPLOADED THIS STUPID THING! NEWAYZ, CLICK THE PURPLEISH-BLUEISH-GRAYISH BUTTON THAT SAYS GO, KK?**


	8. Because

**AN: HELLOOOOO! WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OF MY REVIEWERS! I GOT 5 REVIEWS! 5! THAT IS _ALMOST_ THE WORST I'VE EVER GOTTEN! WAS MY SEX SCENE REALLY THAT BAD? NOOOOOOO:'( OH WELL. I'LL STILL KEEP WRITING. ON WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER**

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**Chapter 8: Because . . .**

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"Draco, I think we did something wrong to the potion," Hermione skeptically said during breakfast. The Heads had a table to themselves. **(AN: IF YOU THINK YOU MISSED A CHAPTER WHERE THAT CAME UP, YOU DIDN'T. I'LL GO AND ADD IT LATER)**

"Wh aww eauf woo oo fay sat?" Draco asked through a mouthful of food. (Translation: Why on earth would you say that?)

"Chew and swallow babe. To answer your question, we're still in love and nobody else is," Hermione said matter-of-factly.

"Oh," Draco said,unable to say anything else. He didn't want to tell her that his potion wore off ages ago because he thought that she really loved him without the potion. Well, she kind of had to, or else Professor Snape would sensethat love was not in the air with the two heads, and inevitably give them a bad grade, and that was the last thingHermione needed.

The flapping of wings was their signal that the post had come.A large black eagle owl headed straight for Draco and gracefully landedon his shoulder.

"Oh great. Father has some "news" for me. Thanks Donovan. You know the way to the owlery," Draco said.

"That's a pretty name for an owl," Hermione said.

"My mum named him. Something about loyalty, blah, blah, blah. I wasn't really paying attention," Draco said. "Well. let's see what father has to say."

_Draco,_

_I have come to the understanding that mudblood Granger is actually a pureblood, Henderson no less. I will have to talk to Michael and Sheila about that. Anyways, your betrothal to that horrid Parkinson girl, what was her name? Oh yes, Pansy. Dreadful name in my opinion. _Hermione and Draco had to laugh at that. _Oh, the betrothal is canceled. _Draco let out a whoop of joy. He got several stares from First year Hufflepuffs. _But, you now have to get married to Granger. Hope you're not disappointed. Remember, you must come home for Easter Break for, initiation day. Don't forget._

_Father_

"Shit! I forgot about initiation day, but I don't have to marry Pansy! YES! I am so happy that I don't have to marry Pansy! Do you know what this means? It means that I get to spend the rest of my natural born life with you, even though I'm going to be a Death Eater," Draco said. He made sure to get extremely quiet on the last part.

"Draco. Common Room. Now." Hermione said deathly quiet and threatening.

"S-s-sure l-l-love," Draco stuttered.

As they made their way to the common room, Hermione was muttering to herself. Stuff like "Death Eater? He better fight with us. Kill his dad. That's what he needs to do."

When they finally made it to the common room and said their individual passwords "I live with a ferret. Oh joy" and "I live with a know-it-all. Oh joy," they entered. Hermione put a very strong locking and silencing charm on the common room.

"What the hell do you mean that you're going to be a fucking Death Eater? Why the hell do you think that I'm going to marry a Death Eater?" Hermione asked with a fire of rage in her eye.

"Because,"

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**AN: AND THAT'S THE END, UNLESS I GET AT LEAST 13 MORE REVIEWS. THAT'S THE MINIMUM, BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS REVIEW MORE.I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TOGangsta-Elmo69 and Kortknee, WHO HAVE BEEN HERE SINCE I STARTED. I ALSO WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO:**

**lil'rook, SerafinaFaye, anonymous, Kais Devil, tictac666, Riley Black, diamondgurl, HermioneMalfoys1, shannon, dracolove7, katzie, queenofthelameos, ocardevoli, emily, draco's #1girl, lys, i-love-tom, Booback, sicknluv, dmhg, maggie, Aussie Trebs, and a special thanksto**

**Sugar We'reGoin' Down whovery, kinda, sortapolitely said :**I'm sorry, but I am going to have to stop here.  
The chapters are too short  
There are too many authors notes and 'ands' in the story  
and I cannot stand the fact that you put leet speak (omg!) in there.

Try doing better and maybe I'll try reading more of your work.

**It was the politest thing i have seen so far, and the most constructivecritisism besides : try making the chapters longer. Sugar We're Goin' Down, I'll try to make my next story better. Oops! I wasn't supposed to say that, but I am making another story, title unknown. It will be out after I'm done with this one, and that's not too far away. Maybe 4 or 5 more chapters. **

**Anyways, Review, or I'll send blonde ferrets to your place of residence and make them eat everything!**


	9. Hey Ginny let's go ice skating

**Hey peoples! I'm really sorry for not updating sooner. Please don't track me down and kill me. I'm really sorry. Really. Hate to break it to you guys, but this is one of the last chapters. i mean, we will have the p(7 more letters)in this chapter, then we will have t(2 more)s(5 more)w(2 more)and v(5 more)w(3 more)l(3 more)and k(3 more)t(2 more)b(5 more) and l(5 more)w(3 more)d(2 more)t(2 more)and then in the last chapter, we will f(3more)o(2 more)t(3 more)t(3 more)w(2 more)a d(4 more)o(1 more)p(5 more)t(3 more) w(3 more)n(4 more)h(5 more). lolz. i love being a tease! here's the next chapter!**

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**Chapter 9: Hey Ginny, let's go ice skating!**

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_Quick Recap: _**

_**"What the hell do you mean that you're going to be a fucking Death Eater? Why the hell do you think that I'm going to marry a Death Eater?" Hermione asked with a fire of rage in her eye.**_

_**"Because,"**_

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Draco POV

"Because, I love you. I've loved you since you had the nerve to punch me and bruise this precious skin. I don't know why I never decided to be friends with you earlier. That would have saved me a whole lot of heart-ache and it sure would have saved me from thinking that I was going to marry Pansy. And now that Father has informed me that I "have to marry you" I thought it would be a wonderful time to give you this,"I said. I was nervous as hell asI ran tomy room, got a small velvety box, bent down on one knee and said "Hermione Nicole Henderson, will you do the honors of umm, accepting this ring?" I was sweating like crazy and had all these little flutters in my stomach. She wasn't saying anything. _Oh shit! She's not saying anything! Oh great, I just made the hugest fool of myself. Wait, why am I talking to myself? Draco Julius Malfoy, you stop talking to yourself and wait for this girl to answer._

Hermione POV

I looked down at Draco with shock on my face. _He wants to marry me! Oh, Hermione Nicole Malfoy! That sounds nice. I really need to talk to Ginny about this. She needs to know. Hermione, stop talking to yourself and answer the boy._

"Draco, I would love to marry you, but how did you find out my middle name? I haven'ttold anybody. They all think that it's "Anne". What kind of middle name is that fora_Henderson_?" I asked him. I looked at the ring. It was HUGE! 14 karat gold band with a GINORMUS (**AN: I KNO THAT THAT'S NOT A WORD, BUT IT'S A FUNNY NON-WORD, AND THIS STORY IS PART COMEDY)**DIAMOND. Well, I really had to tell Ginny about this.

"Well, umm, about that, see,I umm, well," he stuttered.

"Just spit it out already! Never mind, muggle expression. Just tell me." Isaid.

"Umm, well, you remember when prefects had office duty and had to sort all the papers in the office? Well, see, I sorta lookedateverybody'sfileandsawwhattheirmiddlenamewassothatIcouldmakefunofthem." he said in one breath.

"Whoa! Slowdown!Now, slowly tell me what you did,"I said. I really wasn't in the mood for this. I mean, I pulled him out of breakfast to talk abouthim being a Death Eater, and now hereI am asking him hao he knew my middlename.

"When the prefects had office duty, I looked at everybody's file and saw what theirmiddlename was so thatI could make fun of them, but your's was too pretty to make fun of. Didyou know that Ron's middle name isLloyd? Ronald Lloyd Weasley. Whoo!That is some funny shit," hegiggled. Malfoys never giggle, so you know that it had to be extremely funny.

"Draco, you just giggled. Do you know that you just giggled?"I asked. "Maybe weneed to take you to MadamePomfrey."

"No, I'm just fine. Go show Weaselette your rock," Draco said while wiping the tears of joy off of his beautifulface.

"Yeah, I'll go show Ginny. I'm sure she wants to know. Bye Drakie Poo,"I said, waiting for him to register the fact that I just called him what Pansy always called him.

"Please, never call me that again if you value your cat's health," Draco said in a very serious tone, even though you could see the smile creep through.

"Fine, just let me go see Ginny. Loveyou,"I said. I leaned up to kiss him.

"I know you do. Everyone does. Love you too babe," He said. I wish that he would stop smirking. It was so unattractive.

As I walked to the Lion's Den, I thought about what I would say to Ginny.

_Hey Gin! I'm not a Henderson for long. I'm now an almost Malfoy! "Whoa! How did you pull that off?" "Well, Draco just asked me to marry him. Besides, his dad wants us married." "Whoa! Lucius Malfoy wants you married to Draco?" "Yeah. Something about "the family money shall prosper with a Henderson in the family"_

Before I knew it, I was at the Fat Lady's portrait.

"Taste the rainbow" I said. Dumbledore really needs some help picking the passwords. She looked in the common room to find Ginny doing her homework from last night. She completely abandoned the thought in her head previously as she said," Ginny, we need to go skating"

"Why?" Ginny asked. "It's only the beginning of October, it's not near cold enough"

"But who needs a skating rink when I have all this ice on my finger!" I said.

Ginny looked at the ring, then she fainted.

"Ennervate. Ginny! Are you ok?" I asked. I kind of expected that reaction.

"Hermione Nicole ex-Granger Henderson and now almost Malfoy! Let's go skating!"

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**AN: SO, DID YOU LIKE? WELL, IF YOU WANT MORE, REVIEW! I EXPECT MY MAIL BOX TO SAY "MAIL FOOL!" ABOUT 30 TIMES! REVIEW! OR I'LL KIDNAP DRACO AND KEEP HIM IN MY BASEMENT. OH, WHAT FUN I WILL HAVE WITH HIM! MUAHHAHAHAHAHAAH! and if you can figure out what the gibberish was in the first author's note, you get a cookie! here's a hint : the letter is the first letter in the word and the number is how many more letters are needed.**


	10. Let Ron Take It

**thank you to _ronnikenzluvr _for actually attempting the "deranged attempt at an author's note" - _outoftouch._ well, the first thing was a given, i mean he PROPOSED to her, meaning that there was a PROPOSAL in the chpater. here is your cookie. !cookie with anything you want on it !>**

**_Peahces and Firecrackers answers (_i got peaches and firecrackers from s2s magazine)**

**_Kortknee: well, this story is about to end. sorry. :'-(_**

**_OneWhoHasNeverLoved: love the new name. newayz, is this fast enough? lolz._**

**_OutOfTouch: well, _**

**_1) yes, i am happy that you took the time to review._**

**_2) you and everyone else will soon find out why this story is messed up, k?_**

**_3) again, you will find out why it doesn't make sense_**

**_4) well, i am doing the best i can. besides, i don't know about you ppls, but i really don't like long chapters._**

**_5) well, i'm crazy like that. i will pretend kidnap whoever i damn well please, alright?_**

**_6) sorry, my chapters are staying the length they are. and, it won't make sense because i don't want it to. it will all work out in the end, trust me. you weren't being mean, just blunt._**

_**Ronnikenzluvr:hold up, lemme copy 'n' paste. **_

_**"I wonder if I can get her into bed then leave her," Draco thought to himself. "No, bad thoughts, can't think about her like that. She is dirty blood." "Who cares! She is the greatest witch of our age and you know it" "Dumb ass concience. Why does it always have to butt in?" "Becuase it's my job. Now shut up. You are giving me a headache" draco was going to give her mind blowing sex, then leave her.**_

_**DMHG: i kno. **_

_**ocardevoli: it took me a minute to figure out what your username was. don't we all? lolz. well, they knew that they were going to get married becuz his dad sent him a letter saying that hermione should marry him because she was rich, being a henderson and all.**_

_**BubblePopElectric: well, here ya go. love the username.**_

_**Diamondgurl: yeah, now the flames make me laugh. blackmailing you into hating your friends? wow, can you say deranged? thnk you so much. that made me cry tears of joy(rotflmao) it wasn't too long.**_

**_IMPORTANT! FORGET EVERYTHING THAT YOU READ IN MY DERANGED ATTEMPT AT AN AUTHORS NOTE LAST CHAPTER. PLEASE. _**

**Now that that's done, on with the last chapter of the story**

**Disclaimer : the idea for this whole chapter came from "The Fresh Prince of Bel - Air." song title belongs to Dustin, Patrick, Kelley, Carnell, and Bryan Barnell, better known as B5. all characters belong to me. PSYCHE! they belong to JK Rowling.**

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Chapter 10: Let Ron Take It****

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"Ginny, what was that?" Hermione asked. She saw a green flash come from the Boy's Dormitories.

"Hermione, are you really that daft? It was obviously a curse. Maybe the- oh no! C'mon 'Mione, let's go!" Ginny ran up the stairs to find Dean Thomas laying spread eagle on the ground with a look of terror on his face. Hermione came right after her, seeing the same thing. When she looked up, she saw Seamus with a triumphant smirk plastered on his face with his wand in the air and the Dark Mark looming above.

"Seamus, can you hear me? What happened?" Hermione asked in a calm voice. She didn't want to startle him and cause him to do any more damage. As she got closer, she saw that his eyes were a firey red color instead of the calm brown.

"Course I hear you, mudblood. You,"

"Whoa, Seamus. What's wrong? You never called me mudblood before. What's up?"

As she and Ginny looked, hiseyes turned a deep, blood red color. His nose turned into two small slits. His tan skin turned pale, almost white.

"Well, what do we have here? We have a mudblood and a poor, poor, wizard. So, are you two going to fight me?" Voldemort said in his raspy, snakelike voice.

"No, they aren't. We are," came a confident voice from the door. There stood Draco, Harry, Ron, Bill, Charlie, Gred, Forge I mean Fred, George, Blaise, Luna, Neville, Susan, Ernie, Justin, and Colin. Plus, oh, let's say 302 aurors and all of the members of the Order. Fred saw Voldemort's wand laying behind him.

"Hey, Forge, why don't we put our jokes to the test," Fred whispered in his twin's ear.

"Gred, what on earth do you mean?" George asked.

"Whaddya say? Maybe, replace Voldie's wand with a rubber wand?" Fred questioned.

"Well, I was thinking more like Portable Swamp, but, that will do, and Harry will get to beat the git once and for all," George said.

"And, it happens that I havea rubber wand in my pocket. Switch?"

"Yeah!"

So, while You-know-who named all of his Death Eaters in the new way of summoning, Fred and George switched the wand. Then, they charmed it to look just like Voldemort's, down to the finger prints.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Pansy's alarm clock went off.  
"Shit! What time is it?" Pansy growled.

"Time for you to wake up," Millicent said.

_"Oh. Too bad that was only a dream. I would love to see that happen to the stupid git. He would have deserved it too."_ Pansy thought. The rest of the day went normally, Draco and Hermione throwing insults at each other, Snape taking points away from Gryffindor for Neville's mistakes, and Harry and Ron being over protective of Hermione. Everything was right in the world until . . .

**LATER THAT NIGHT**  
_Stupid Prefect duties. Why bother?_ Pansy thought to herself as she walked through the corridors, whistling a muggle song called "All I Do". While she was whistling, she heard moans from a brooom closet. As she neared the closet, she heard a girl giggling. In between giggles, she heard the words, "Drakie, stop!"  
"Oh, shit! Not again. Well, this time, I'm **NOT** opening the closet. Let Ron take it." she said.

Finis.

**AN: Well, how did you like it? We now know why this story is really messed up. Pansy's mind is messed up. Or, my crack provider has struck again. Or i can't write shit. i vote for the last one. whatever you want to believe. review, flame, i don't care. just know that this is my last attempt at a story. from now on, i will be reviewing, and reviewing ONLY! i kno a lot of people are happy about that. so, review. please. it will do my ego good to see that my last chapter got more reviews than any other. all you reader/writers out there, i'm changing my username to _iluvdustinbarnell._ look for it. all readers, never expect another story from me for a long time.  
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